do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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