ADVERTISEMENT

• (409): View more from Texas

  nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair

  Fav 26 795 4698

  share tweet
  

• (562): View more from California

  We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.

  Fav 25 5656 1581

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (303): View more from Colorado

  it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol

  Fav 1 3330 1141

  share tweet
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...

  Fav 8 1412 2355

  share tweet
  

• (817): View more from Texas

  We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden

  Fav 11 2272 946

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

  Fav 7 890 572

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills

  Fav 5 496 1172

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win

  Fav 5 809 508

  share tweet
  

• (+35): View more from

  I have feelings that need drinking.

  Fav 2 1042 524

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.

  Fav 0 759 633

  share tweet
  

• (818): View more from California

  The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.

  Fav 3 1503 565

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.

  Fav 5 878 465

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  THOUGHT

  Fav 3 246 441

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time

  Fav 2 42 23

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (219): View more from Indiana

  I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.

  Fav 0 37 14

  share tweet
  

Randomize