"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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