The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
