you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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