We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize