Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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