my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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