and you said cock pushups were impossible
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
