: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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