summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Boobs are out for the taking
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
