If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
