another moral hangover. fuck.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
