I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
