oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
