Kiss
Puke
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize