Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
