my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
