Ambien. No doubt about it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize