Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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