the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
