I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
