Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
