So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
