People with herpes should wear stickers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize