you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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