nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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