actually, I'm a sock model
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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