I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
