I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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