Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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