okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
