Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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