Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize