I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
