that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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