I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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