Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
