the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
