god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
