I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
