yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
