I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
