Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
