dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
