I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
