the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
