i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I FOUND THE LEGS
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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