Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
