why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
