on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
