YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
