He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
