I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
