I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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