Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
