I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
