Pants 0. Shit 1.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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