haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you would pick up someone in the library
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So many bounce houses so little time
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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