I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
