first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
