Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
