We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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