how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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