i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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